Trying Not To Love You
by CleopatrasDream
Summary: When you love someone, you want them to be happy even if that means they can't be yours, but you can also never imagine them being anybody else's.
1. Chapter 1

It had been a long week, one that she would have been quite happy to forget completely, but it was her birthday, and her friends had arranged a party for her, and who was she to say no to a party. Besides, she'd already bought a new dress for the occasion, and it had showed off her legs so well when she'd tried it on in the store.

As she entered the house she shared with two of her friends, Kylie and Jen, along with Kylie's boyfriend Tom, she was met by banners and streamers hanging from the ceiling, walls and anywhere else they seemed to have been able to hang them, and the sound of Jen calling through from the kitchen.

''Tom, how many more crates of beer is there in your car after that one?''

''It's not Tom.'' Sian said as she walked into the kitchen, seeing the worktops covered with bottles, cans and plastic cups, and Jen stood on a chair hanging yet another banner above the inside of the patio doors. ''Oh Sian, good, pass me more tape will ya.'' Jen said as she pointed to the table behind her.

''Could you guys have bought anymore banners?'' Sian asked, as she picked up the roll of tape, tearing a piece of and handing it to the other girl. ''You know Ray's gonna go mad if you wreck the walls with tape all over them.'' Ray was their landlord, who they'd had a few run-ins with in the past over their parties and 're-decorating of the house'.

''Stop stressing babe, it's your birthday. Anyway, he only came to check the place last week, he won't be back for another three months now.'' One of the things Sian liked best about Jen was how easy going she was about things. They had been best friends throughout high school and had made sure they were able to live in the same house when they got to university. Besides, she was right, she shouldn't worry about little things like wallpaper, especially on her birthday. She was young and in university, and she was determined to have fun that night, and maybe find herself a hot bloke. It had been four months since she'd broken up with Todd, after she'd found out that he'd cheated with one of the freshman cheerleaders. One thing she swore she'd never be, was a doormat for men like she had watched her mum become when she was growing up.

''Yeah, guess you're right.'' She smiled as she placed the tape back down on the table. ''Anything else you need me to do?''

''Nah, Tom's bringing in the rest of the drink and then I'm gonna get ready. You may as well go start glaming yourself up now, lady of the moment an' all that.''

''Great, thanks. You know, I think tonight could end up being pretty good.'' She said as she made her way up the stairs.

''Pretty good? Tonight's gonna be unforgettable!'' she heard Jen shout after her before she closed the bathroom door behind her.

A few hours later and a large number of people had started arriving for the party, a lot of who Sian was pretty sure she hadn't ever even said one word to the entire time she'd been at uni. The atmosphere was buzzing though, and Sian had to admit that she was having a really good time. She was a couple drinks in when she noticed a couple of Tom's friends come through the front door with a few pretty girls at their side, one in particular catching Sian's eye, making her wonder which of the tall muscular basketball players had managed to bag himself someone that gorgeous.

She did note however, that whilst the Brunette was without a doubt beautiful, she wasn't the type Tom's mates usually went for. They usually always arrived with the girliest cheerleader types, perfect hair, perfect make-up, short dresses showing off everything they had, leaving nothing to the imagination. This girl though, she was dressed in ripped skinny jeans, a light bluey-green and pink chequered shirt and a pair of grey Converse Hi-tops, which in Sian's opinion were some of the comfiest shoes you could ever wear, and the thought made her smile for a moment.

''Happy Birthday Siany.'' Neil wrapped his arms around the Blonde and hugged her tightly. ''You having fun?''

''Thanks Neil. Yeah, it's good so far'' Sian pulled back and smiled at the athletic lad. As she glanced just behind him, her eyes met those of the beautiful Brunette who had come in with him and his mates. Her eyes bore into Sian like she was looking right through her.

''Oh, yeah…'' Neil broke Sian from her gaze as he stepped back and gestured towards the girl now beside him. ''Siany this is Sophie, the only girl that can kick our butts on the court. Sophie, Sian – also known as the birthday girl tonight.''

''Hi.'' Sian smiled at the girl in front of her who took a step closer to her.

''Hey.'' The Brunette smiled which seemed to light up her whole face, and only made Sian's own smile grow. ''Happy Birthday.''

''Thanks.'' For some unknown reason, Sian felt herself blush slightly under the other girl's gaze. She knew what it felt like, but there was no way she could actually fancy a girl, was there? And especially not after having just spotted her a few minutes ago, she just found her intriguing, yeah that was it…

''So you can beat Neil here in a game of Basketball eh? Surprised the two of you can be friends.'' Sian smirked at the tall lad beside her, having known him since they were kids and learning over the years what a sore loser he could sometimes be.

''Give over Siany, I'm not that bad a loser anymore… am I?'' he asked, looking towards the Brunette beside him, who raised her eyebrows in an 'are you kidding' kind of way. ''Okay, okay, so maybe I hate to lose. Should have known not to argue with two ladies at the same time.'' Sian giggled at her friend having to admit something he didn't want to, not realising that the other girl was watching her and thinking to herself how the sound of the Blonde's laugh may actually have been the most adorable thing she'd ever heard.

Before there was an opportunity for him to get caught up in any other discussion that may mean him having to admit anything else, the fair haired lad made a quick decision. ''I'm gonna grab a drink, you coming?'' he asked as he looked to Sophie who dragged her eyes away from Sian and nodded at Neil in response.

''Erm, yeah.'' She looked back at Sian with a smile. ''See you later maybe?'' Sian nodded, unable to take her eyes away from the older girl who followed her friend into the kitchen to get a drink. A moment later, she noticed Sophie glancing back in her direction, and it looked like she was checking her out as her eyes skimmed over her body before catching her eye and she quickly turned back around and disappeared into crowd in the kitchen.


	2. Chapter 2

About an hour later, Sian had mingled with as many people she recognised who had come to her party and had just once again spotted the Brunette from earlier, standing near the stairs talking to a couple of her uni friends, when someone she was hoping wouldn't show up, appeared right beside her.

Letting out a sigh as she turned in this direction, she couldn't imagine finding the smug look on his face any more irritating. ''What do you want Todd? What are you even doing here?''

''I'm here for your birthday of course, and I thought we could talk about us?'' he tried to smile the way he thought made him charming, but really all it did was make Sian's stomach churn at the thought she ever let him touch her.

''We broke up remember, there's no you or me anymore.''

''Come on Babe, you know we're like, meant to be or whatever.'' Sian scoffed at him, her eyes glancing around the room for an escape from the torture of having to be stood with her cheating ex. As a couple more people came in the front door, Sian took her opportunity.

''I gotta go.'' And before the dark haired lad had a chance to object, Sian had made her way over and greeted the newcomers.

Eventually when she got the chance, she had sneaked outside to get some fresh air and further away from the sound of Todd bragging about how he was trying out for the basketball team next term. Sighing, she ran a hand through her hair and leaned her head back against the window.

''Hey Sian.'' She quickly turned in the direction of the same soft voice from earlier.

''Hey.'' She smiled as Sophie took a seat next to her on the window sill. Given the small amount of space, it was no surprise that the side of their legs were pressed together once they were both sat there, but what did surprise the Blonde, was the shiver that ran up her spine at the other girl's touch, even through clothing.

Sophie noticed Sian shift slightly as she sat next to her and turned to look at her. ''You okay?'' she asked softly. When she'd seen the younger girl make her way outside, she took the opportunity to go out and talk to her. As soon as she'd set foot in the house earlier that evening and was introduced to Sian, she hadn't been able to think of anything else. She'd only come along to the party because her other plans had been cancelled at last minute and Neil had insisted it would be a good night, and although she wasn't really confident in the lads definition of a good night, sat next to the beautiful Blonde at that moment, she was really glad she'd listened to him.

''Hm? Oh yeah, sorry, just letting my mind wander I guess.'' Sian smiled as she looked back at Sophie, catching her eye for a moment before quickly looking away again.

''So… What you thinking about, out here all alone, on your birthday?'' Sian smiled. The Brunette's voice was so sweet.

''Nothing really, just…'' Sian let out a sigh, she didn't want her ex spoiling her birthday, but he always had a way of getting to her.

''Anything to do with that lad you was talking to?'' Sian quickly looked at Sophie, realising that she must have been watching her, or at least paying her some attention to have seen her talking to Todd. ''Sorry, it's none of my business. You just looked upset when you came out here after you spoke to him that's all… I just wanted to make sure you were alright.''

''I'm fine okay!'' It came out a lot harsher than she meant, in fact she didn't mean to snap at all, and she instantly felt guilty.

''Okay. Erm… listen, I'll leave you to it.'' Sophie pushed herself up from the windowsill and was about to walk back inside when she was halted as a hand found her wrist, holding her in place.

''No wait! I'm sorry… Please don't go, I didn't mean to be rude.'' Sian pleaded. ''It's just… he drives me mad, he just can't seem to accept the fact we're over, even after six months.''

''So he's your ex then?'' Sian nodded in response. ''Really? Him?'' Sophie asked raising her eyebrows making Sian frown.

''Yeah, why?''

''I mean come on… look at him and then look at you, you're gorgeous, you could have anyone!'' Sian blushed and at the same time felt butterflies erupt in her stomach at the Brunette's words, but not sure how to react to the compliment from her, she chose to look down at her own hands as she fidgeted. ''Sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you. I just think when someone's as beautiful as you they should be told.'' Sian felt a small smile creep across her lips. ''But honestly, where did you find him, the zoo?'' Sian let out a small giggle, and Sophie couldn't help but smile at the sound.

''You didn't.'' she said quietly before glancing up sideways at the Brunette.

''Didn't what?''

''Embarrass me…'' Sian smiled at Sophie who returned a wide grin.

''Well that's alright then.'' Sophie answered, relieved she hadn't gone and already messed up any chance of getting to know Sian a bit better. She stood up from the windowsill and ''Erm… I don't suppose you wana come in and grab a drink with me, do you? I mean it is your party after all, you should be inside enjoying yourself.''

Sian turned her head and looked through the window, noticing the same person she was trying to avoid, still inside. Sophie glanced in the same direction, realising the problem and not wanting to miss out on the opportunity to spend more time with Sian, she spoke again.

''How about I go grab us a couple of drinks and we have them out here instead, I mean it's a nice night after all.'' Sian looked up, and gave a small grateful smile as she nodded. ''Okay great, don't go anywhere.'' Sophie smiled in return and made her in inside to get their drinks.

After she'd gotten their drinks from the kitchen, Sophie made her way back outside and handed one of the bottles to Sian, clinking the bottles together gently in a cheers motion before she sat on the garden wall opposite her.

''The guy's a jerk Sian, he clearly doesn't know a good thing when he sees it. I don't know why anyone who had you would ever consider cheating.'' Sian smiled back at Sophie who she'd been sat talking to for the past thirty minutes, and who clearly wasn't a fan of her ex, especially when Sian had explained that the reason they'd broke up was because she'd walked in on him cheating with one of the freshman at a party about six weeks earlier. He'd tried to talk his way out of it, by complaining that Sian just hadn't been much of a girlfriend lately, always too busy to spend time with him, even though he was well aware that she'd been going through a tough time since her nana had just passed away a couple of months earlier.

Sian had lived with her nana when she was younger and had been closer to her than her own parents. She had been completely devastated when she passed away, and it only hurt more when one of the people she should have been able to relay on the most, chose to believe she was being selfish and was feeling sorry for herself and instead hurt her by cheating on her.

Seeing the Blonde starting to get lost in her thoughts, Sophie hopped up off the wall. ''So, come on then, I guess I can't keep you to myself all night.'' She said as she held her hand out in front of her.

''What?'' Sian asked as she raised her eyebrows.

''Come dance with me… pleeease?'' Sophie pouted, and Sian couldn't help but find it adorable, and at the same time pretty sexy, which confused the heck out of her since she definitely wasn't . But she just wasn't concerned about any of that at that moment, she just cared that she was having a good night, and right now that was due to the Brunette's presence. As much as she wanted to stay outside and talk with the older girl some more, she couldn't very well abandon her own party after her friends had went to the trouble of organising it, so she reached out and placed her hand in Sophie's, pulling herself up from where she was sitting and they made their way back into the house.

With another drink in their hands, both girl's had managed to find a space in the now packed out living room and were dancing in the middle of all the other bodies surrounding them, as the music pumped through the speakers. Sian had only met the Brunette a few hours earlier, but she'd never felt so drawn to someone so quickly as she did to Sophie. The older girl was undoubtedly beautiful, she was confident, sweet, and boy could she dance, as Sian was finding out at that very moment, as Sophie's hands rested on her hips from behind her and pulled her back into her so their bodies pressed together as they swayed their hips.

Sian's head was spinning, maybe a little from the alcohol, but most definitely due to the girl whose hands were currently running up and down her sides and whose hot breath she could feel against the side of her neck as they moved together. Sian turned in Sophie's hold and was met by amazing blue eyes that seemed to have darkened a little.

Wrapping her hands around the back of Sophie's neck, Sian received a smile in return as she played with the Brunette locks between her fingers. ''Did you mean what you said earlier?''

''What?'' Sophie asked, wondering if she'd said something that had upset the younger girl.

''When you said I could have anyone.''

Sophie looked in the Blonde's bright blue eyes, wanting what she was about to say to be believed as much as she meant it. ''Sian, you're one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen. Anyone would be crazy not to want you.''

As crazy as she knew it seemed Sian couldn't help the urge she felt to kiss Sophie at that moment. She may have been in the middle of a room full of her friends, but right now with the feelings inside her, not even that was going to stop her. Leaning in, she brought her lips beside the older girl's ear and whispered. ''What if I wanted you?''

After a few seconds of making sure she'd heard right, Sophie leaned back and looked over the Blonde's face. She knew she was a little tipsy, but from the way she was looking at her, it seemed like she meant what she was saying.

''Is there somewhere we can go?'' Sophie asked. Sian nodded and reached down entwining her fingers with the Brunette's, before she led her towards the stairs.


	3. Chapter 3

As they entered one of the bedrooms, Sophie looked around at the colourful yet modest décor, trying to focus on something else for a moment other than how clammy her hands were becoming or how much her heart seemed to have sped up over the past 30 seconds.

''This is my room.'' Sian said quietly as she released Sophie's hand and allowed the Brunette to walk further into her room as she turned and closed the door, turning the lock on it which didn't go un-noticed by the other girl.

''It's nice.'' Sophie smiled as she took a step back towards the Blonde who now looked a little hesitant about the situation she found herself in. ''You okay?'' Sian nodded in response as she swallowed hard as she watched Sophie step closer, before she looked down and played with her own fingers.

''I'm sorry, I don't even know what I'm doing…''

As the Brunette stopped right in front of the Blonde, she reached up and with the side of her index finger and her thumb, she raised Sian's chin so she faced her.

As the Brunette stopped right in front of the Blonde, she reached up and with the side of her index finger and her thumb, she raised Sian's chin so she faced her. ''This…'' Sophie whispered as she leaned in and pressed her lips to Blonde's. Slightly startled at first, Sian soon kissed her back, with their mouths soon moving in sync. Taking a chance, the Brunette parted her lips slightly, and as she felt Sian do the same, she took the opportunity to slowly guide her tongue into the Blonde's mouth.

''Mmm…'' she heard the small moan come from the Blonde, and she smiled into the kiss as she felt the slight vibrations from it. Sophie moved her hands to Sian waist and pulled her closer as she pressed their bodies together.

Sophie moved her hands to Sian waist and pulled her closer as she pressed their bodies together. Never in her life had Sophie felt lips as soft as the Blonde's, so as Sian pulled back slightly to gain her breath, Sophie didn't hesitate in quickly capturing them again with her own, making Sian giggle at her urgency. Sliding her hands down Sophie's neck, she cupped her face as she leaned back and looked at her nervously. ''I've never done this before.''

''What?'' Sophie whispered in response, her eyes still closed as she leaned her forehead against the younger girl's.

''Been with a girl.'' Sophie opened her eyes and pulled back to study the Blonde. She had assumed that Sian wanted to fool around a bit, but didn't think that she was thinking about them

She stood looking back at the girl in front of her for a few moments longer, trying to figure out whether Sian was just drunk and wanting a quick experiment, something she knew nine times out of ten was never a good idea with a straight girl.

''I didn't think you meant you wanted to, ya know…''

''Oh, erm… did you not want to?'' Sian asked, starting to feel a little uncomfortable at the fact she'd awkwardly assumed that's what Sophie had followed her to her room for. That, and the fact they were still stood so close together, with the Brunette's hands resting on her hips and her own on Sophie's shoulders.

''It's not that I don't want to, I mean you're gorgeous, god of course I want you.'' Sian looked down between their bodies, or at least the small space between them. Sophie let out a sigh and subconsciously stroked her thumbs over Sian's hipbones, the small movement making the Blonde's skin tingle. ''But Sian you're not gay…'' she said as she bent down slightly and tilted her head trying to make eye contact with the Blonde. ''Are you?'' she asked softly.

''No, I mean… no.'' Sian frowned to herself, thinking what to say, as Sophie watched her closely. ''I just… really like you.''

Sophie couldn't help but smile at Sian's words. She knew it seemed crazy, but she thought the Blonde could quite possibly be the perfect girl and because of that, she was in two minds, somewhere she'd never found herself before. Here she was stood holding on to an absolutely gorgeous, single girl who was quite willing and ready to go at it, but at the same time she was straight and Sophie had always tried to avoid getting involved with straight girls.

Sian looked back up, looking into the pretty blue eyes that were looking back at her and noticed how deep in thought the Brunette seemed to be about their present situation. She wasn't sure what it was in that particular moment that made her do it, but before either of them could think anything further or utter another word, Sian's hands slid to the back of Sophie's neck and pulling the Brunette towards her, she crashed their lips together.

Without hesitation, Sophie responded, automatically kissing her back and spinning them around, walking Sian backwards until they reached the edge of the bed. Any thoughts she had about stopping this from happening left her mind, as she ran her hand down the Blonde's body and they continued to kiss frantically. Quickly locating the zip on the back of Sian's dress, Sophie unzipped it before dragging the material off her body. As she broke the kiss and pushed the other girl down on to the bed, she felt her hormones going into over drive at the sight before her. The Blonde hadn't been wearing a bra and with her now laid only in her underwear, Sophie wanted nothing more than to worship her body like it deserved to be.

She quickly unbuttoned her own shirt and discarded it on to the floor, crawling on to the bed so she was hovering over the girl beneath her as she scanned over her body. Not wanting to delay any longer, she leaned in and pressed her lips against Sian's, feeling the Blonde's hands on her waist pulling her down on top of her, trying to get more contact.

Allowing herself to be pulled down and her body to press against Sian's, Sophie broke the kiss and moved her lips to the Blonde's neck, sucking and nibbling the skin there before soothing her tongue over it. Slipping her hand in-between their bodies, Sophie ran her fingertips over Sian's centre, immediately feeling the Blonde's arousal, and hearing her breath hitch at the Brunette's touch.

Leaning up so she could look at Sian's face, Sophie moved a piece of Blonde hair behind her ear before she spoke. ''You are stunning, you know that?'' A hand suddenly at the back of her neck made sure no more words were spoken, as their lips crashed together and she eagerly accepted the Blonde's tongue into her mouth and they kissed wildly.

Wanting to continue and to be able to explore the rest of the beautiful girl below her, Sophie moved her lips back to her neck and trailed kisses downwards over her chest. Sian felt as though her body was on fire the moment the Brunette took her nipple into her mouth, and she couldn't hold back the loud moan that erupted from her, as one of her hands gripped the back of Sophie's neck, holding her against her.

The Brunette brought her hand up and cupped Sian's other breast, as she continued working her tongue over the hardened peak whilst running the fingers of her other hand in circles over the Blonde's clit.

Venturing further down, the Brunette let her tongue trail over the smooth toned stomach, eventually ending up at her intended destination. She spread Sian's thighs apart and allowed her hot breath to hit against her centre, only serving to make the younger girl want her even more.

''Please…'' Before the Blonde had a chance to utter another word, Sophie had pushed her tongue inside her, Sian's back instantly arching off the bed and a moan of pleasure filling the room.

Sophie laid her hands on the Blonde's hips, holding them in place as she continued her actions down below. Hearing the moans coming from Sian and feeling how she writhed against the bed sheets was a massive turn on for the Brunette, and she wanted nothing more than to experience it for as long as possible.

Withdrawing her tongue and running it up the full length of Sian's wetness, tracing it all the way back down again, the older girl teased the sensitive area over and over until a hand on the back of her head let her know more was wanted and very much needed. In all honesty, she wasn't trying to tease the Blonde, as much as she was trying to show her how good it could be with another girl, in hopes that maybe this wouldn't just be a onetime thing.

Bringing one of her hands down next to her face, she plunged two fingers inside the Blonde, hearing her release a guttural moan, and taking the opportunity to glance up at the girl as she started a slow pace. Sophie didn't think she'd ever seen anything as arousing as what she saw when she looked at the girl above her. As Sophie continued to move her fingers inside her, Sian's chest rose and fell like she almost couldn't catch her breath. Her right arm was outstretched gripping tightly to the bed sheet underneath her, while her other was bent at the elbow and flung over her eyes as she tried to focus on steadying her breathing and enjoying the feeling of what the Brunette was doing to her, rather than the fact she was in bed with someone she'd only met a few hours ago, and the fact it was a girl.

Noticing that the Brunette had stopped what she was doing, Sian lifted her arm from her face and looked down, seeing Sophie watching her. For a few moments they kept eye contact Sian's breathing the only sound to be heard in the room. Even as the older girl started moving her fingers inside her again slowly, their eyes remained locked, it was the most intense and intimate moment Sian had ever experienced in her life. Reaching down, her hand finding the back of the Brunettes neck, Sian pulled Sophie up so she was face to face with her, instantly crashing their lips together in a heated kiss. Sophie's digits started up a pace again, faster than before as they made out wildly and Sian's hands wrapped around the toned physique of the girl whose body was rubbing so satisfyingly against her own.

Moving her lips to Sian's neck, Sophie sucked hard on the pulse point and curled her fingers, causing the Blonde to push her head further back into the pillow as she called out loudly in pleasure. Her nails dug into Sophie's back, trying desperately to hold on to the feeling as long as she could. Skimming her thumb over Sian's clit, Sophie pushed deeper and deeper with each thrust of her fingers, the nails clawing into her back telling her she was doing right.

''Sophie! Ahhh, oh my g-'' Unable to finish what she was trying to say, Sian buried her face into the older girl's shoulder, her breathing hot and heavy against the Brunette's skin. ''Fuck!'' Sophie heard and felt mumbled into her shoulder as she curled her fingers again, not intending on relenting until the Blonde was completely sated.

A final few thrusts and she was rewarded with a long, loud groan of satisfaction erupting from Sian and her muscles tightening around Sophie's fingers as she came. The Blonde bit down on her bottom lip, knowing that if she didn't it was certain she'd be heard throughout the house, loud music playing or not.

Allowing Sian to ride out her high, Sophie slowed her pace and kissed along her jawline, loving the sound of the small whimpers that were coming from the Blonde as the remainders of her orgasm washed through her body. After a minute, Sian's breathing had slowed more and Sophie withdrew her fingers while placing a gentle kiss on the other girl's lips.

''You okay?'' she whispered against them, hoping with every inch of her being that the Blonde wasn't going to suddenly panic and run. Her nerves were banished when Sian hummed in response, whether this was to agree, or because she simply hadn't been able to speak at that moment, Sophie was just glad that she was still lying with her.

Rolling off to the side of Sian, Sophie lay on her back looking up at the ceiling, not sure if she should assume she was staying or if she should be already heading for the door. Her question was answered however, when a soft warm hand took a hold of her own and tugged her in the direction of the Blonde again. Moving on to her side, Sophie's gaze met that of the younger girl and she couldn't help but smile at the sight, she really was gorgeous. Leaning in, she pressed their lips together, not deepening it, but just simply wanting to kiss her at that moment, before she moved back again.

Sian gave a small smile, a second later turning so her back was facing Sophie whose hand she pulled around herself. The older girl happily obliged, pulling the Blonde further back into her and resting her hand on her stomach as they both rested their knackered bodies.


	4. Chapter 4

Sophie wasn't sure how long she'd closed her eyes for, but when she woke up, the noise and music from downstairs had quietened. She let her eyes adjust as she flickered them open slowly and couldn't help but smile as she saw the Blonde hair spread out on the pillow in front of her. Her arm was still wrapped around the younger girl's body, and she noticed their hands were now entwined. She didn't want to move, but her arm that was under the pillow was starting to get pins and needles, so she ever so slowly removed it from underneath.

A few seconds later, the Blonde shuffled in front of her, squeezing Sophie fingers in her own, almost as if she was remembering what had happened. A few moments later, she separated their hands and turned to lie on her back, causing Sophie to move back slightly to make space. As soon as Sian turned, her eyes met the same pretty blue ones that had drawn her in just a matter of hours earlier.

''Hey.'' Sophie smiled, waiting to see what was going to happen next.

''Hey.'' Sian replied, both her hands being brought up to her face as she blew out a breath.

''You alright?'' The Brunette asked, placing her hand on Sian's stomach and rubbed it gently, feeling her stiffen at her touch.

''Yeah.'' Sian's breathing was shaky as her body reacted to the Brunette's soft touch. ''But erm… You should probably go.''

''What? Why?'' Sophie whispered as she smoothed her thumb over the Blonde's bare hip, the small action causing Sian's skin to tingle.

''It's just… I… I need…'' Hearing her struggling with a reason to give her, Sophie leant up on her elbow, her hand stilling in centre of Sian's stomach and resting there as she looked at the Blonde's face.

''What is it?''

''I need to get up early, so I should get some sleep.'' She lied, she had nothing to get up early for, but she certainly felt like she needed time to think about the entire night. She never in a million years thought that she'd be in bed with a girl, and she certainly didn't think she would have been the one to have initiated it.

''Oh, right… erm, sure. I'll just….'' Sophie shuffled from under the covers and locating her clothes on the floor, she started getting dressed. She knew Sian was most likely lying to get her to go, but she wasn't going to confront her on it, if anything she wanted to make things simple for her, and maybe they could talk about everything when the Blonde was more comfortable with what had happened between them.

Sian didn't want to appear to be such a heartless bitch, but she was just totally confused. She'd just slept with a girl, and liked it, but she wasn't gay, she'd always liked guys in the past. The fact that Sophie had such an effect on her scared her and she felt like she needed time to think about everything. When she looked at the Brunette and saw the slightly saddened expression though, she couldn't help but feel guilty, but surely Sophie had been in the same position in the past, where she was confused and she just hoped she would understand and wouldn't hate her for it.

Once she was dressed, Sophie stood feeling awkward. She'd not felt like this in a long time, usually happy to be leaving the place she was in after a one night stand, but the problem this time was that she didn't want it to be a one night stand. Unsure now whether she was just meant to leave or whether it was appropriate to kiss Sian goodbye, she settled for walking over to the Blonde who was now sat up in the bed, the bed sheets wrapped around her. Leaning down, she placed a gentle kiss on the younger girl's cheek. ''I'll see you around, yeah?'' she said quietly, receiving a small nod in return before she stood back up. Without another word, Sophie picked up her phone which had fallen there at some stage during their wild session and made her way out of the room. As she made her way down stairs, there were still a few partygoers spread throughout the living room and kitchen, but after a quick glance around and not being able to spot her friends she'd arrived with, she chose to leave and head home alone.

Back in her bedroom, Sian had rolled herself up in the sheets and was lying there reliving what had occurred with the Brunette. Every small touch, every tiny caress, the way her lips felt against her own, how gentle yet passionate every movement between the two of them had been, how easy it was to fall asleep with her.

Snuggling more into the pillow, she could still smell Sophie and as she did, all she could imagine was her dark blue eyes, her soft dark hair, the way she hovered over her as she pleasured her, never taking her eyes off her. It was like even though they were strangers before that night, Sophie had wanted to know everything about her, to memorize every details of her and make her feel like at the moment they were together, they were the only two people that existed.

It's not what she wanted though. She couldn't come out and tell her friend and family that all of a sudden she had feelings for a girl. She had to put a stop it quickly before she let herself over think. First thing in the morning, she'd go and straighten everything out, no pun intended. For now though, she was worn out and all she really wanted to do was fall back to sleep, and maybe dream of a particular amazing Brunette driving her crazy all over again.

When the next day arrived, Sian woke up with a smile on her face, the kind of smile someone has on their face when they've experienced one of the best nights of their lives and then dreamt about it happening again and again. Only when she'd fully woken up and remembered how the night had ended did her smile falter and her stomach churned slightly. She felt awful for the way Sophie had left, and she knew they needed to talk about things, she just didn't know how she was going to begin.

A few hours later, Sian had finally worked up just about enough courage to text Neil and ask where Sophie lived, with the excuse that she'd found her wallet at the house and wanted to return it to her. She caught the bus and managed to locate the house the Brunette shared with some uni mates. As she walked up the path to the pebbledash property, she could feel her heart speeding up, as she finally raised her hand and pressed the doorbell.

After a few moments, she heard the sound of someone unlocking the door before it opened to reveal the same Brunette she'd had on her mind since the night before.

''Sian!'' Sophie said sounding surprised that the Blonde had shown up unexpected at her front door.

''Hi.'' Sian said, inside she was trying to build up the guts to discuss everything with the other girl. ''Um… can I come in?''

''Y-yeah, sure, come in.'' Sophie opened the door wider and stepped back for the Blonde to enter. ''How did you know where I lived?''

''Neil. I… I told him I found your wallet.'' Sophie gave a small smile as she nodded. ''Not just a pretty face then.'' She smiled trying to lighten the awkward atmosphere a bit. Sian however, was still caught up in her thoughts, trying to figure out how to start the conversation, in all honesty she wasn't really sure what it was she wanted to tell Sophie. It wasn't like she hadn't been the one that had asked for it to happen, or that she could say she didn't enjoy every second of their time together, or even that she didn't feel the most comfortable she ever felt as she fell asleep in the Brunette's arms.

''Listen, can we talk?''

''Sure, you wanna sit down?'' Sophie asked as she gestured to the sofa.

''I'm alright thanks.'' Sian fidgeted as she stood looking uncomfortable, making the older girl frown as she watched her.

''Sian-'' Before she got a chance to ask her what was wrong, Sophie was interrupted by the Blonde speaking up.

''Listen I just needed to say that… well, what what happened between us, it was… amazing, but…'' Sophie smiled at Sian's words, until she realised there had also been a 'but'. ''It wasn't me, I… I'd had too much to drink, we both did.''

''You've got to be kidding me. Sian we may have been a little tipsy but we weren't drunk. You're honestly going to blame it on that.'' Sophie couldn't believe after the previous night, Sian was actually going to deny that there had been anything real involved and was going to blame it purely on being drunk after only a few beers.

''I-'' Sophie didn't give her a chance to make any more excuses.

''Okay, tell me that what happened meant nothing to you, that you don't like me like that at all.''

''Sophie, don't do this.'' Sian sighed out. ''Can we not just forg-''

''Forget it happened?'' Sophie's voice was quieter, she didn't want to forget it. She'd never experienced being with someone and enjoying it as much as she had with Sian, and the fact that the Blonde hadn't even touched her intimately and she was still able to say that, is what made her believe it had been something special.

''We can still be friends.'' Sian looked down, unable to look at the hurt in the Brunette's eyes. At that moment, Sophie felt as though she'd been punched in the stomach. Friends? She couldn't speak for Sian, but Sophie didn't tell her friends she wanted them, she didn't lead them into her room and kiss them passionately, or have sex with them, and she certainly didn't dig her nails into their backs as they made her moan out there names one night and then the next day ask them to forget it ever happened.

''I wanna hear you say it.'' Sophie whispered, making Sian look back up at her.

''What?''

''I wanna hear you say that you regret it. Say it was a mistake to tell me you wanted me and to take me to your room.'' She said as she took a step closer to the Blonde. ''Tell me what happened meant nothing, tell me th-.''

''It meant nothing okay!'' Sian shouted, momentarily stunning the Brunette into silence. ''There, you satisfied?'' She instantly felt like the most horrible person on the planet, she didn't want to have things play out this way at all, but Sophie just wouldn't let her explain.

Seeing the look on Sophie's face, Sian just wanted to hold her and tell her that she was lying, that in reality she wished what happened could happen over and over again, but she couldn't. Instead, she was choosing to live in a lie and allow herself to hurt possibly the most amazing girl she'd ever met. ''I'm sorry.'' She whispered, knowing that if she didn't get away now, she'd give in or at least breakdown and cry any minute. ''I've gotta go.'' Within a few moments she was out the door, ignoring Sophie's plea for her to wait. She couldn't even understand why the older girl would want to talk to her any longer after she'd blatantly told her she was a mistake.

Over the next week, Sian had avoided Sophie as much as possible. The Brunette had tried a number of times to speak to her on campus but every time, Sian had told her she was late for class, or she was meeting someone or that friends were coming round so she had to get home. She knew Sophie would know she was lying, but it was all she could do to not have to deal with the situation. She just wished she had more guts, she wished she could just tell Sophie how she felt and wasn't so afraid of the opinions of others, but she knew she just wasn't that strong so she just carried out being the same Sian she was before she met the girl she craved more and more with each day that passed.

Sophie on the other hand was finally giving up. It may have only been a week of chasing round after the Blonde trying to get her to speak to her, but it was tiring and she was beginning to feel drained. As much as she liked Sian and had hoped there could be something between them, it seemed clear that the younger girl just didn't want to face what had happened, and Sophie wasn't going to force her. She hadn't been able to stop thinking about her since their encounter, and she thought every day about asking Neil for her number, but every time she had just about decided on it, she changed her mind. It had been like that for the past seven days, ever since Sian had left the Brunette's house after their argument. Sophie knew the words had come out of Sian's mouth, but she couldn't and didn't want to believe that the time they'd spent together had meant nothing to the other girl. If it was time the younger girl needed, time without everyone knowing about them, then Sophie was more than willing to give her it, but instead, she'd had her heart broken by Sian pretty much telling her that she didn't care about her at all.

Sophie's cousin Josh had turned up to visit two days earlier though, and Sophie didn't want to make it miserable for him, so she'd tried to push thoughts of the Blonde out of her head. When they'd been out for a few drinks the night before, she reminded herself how easy it was for her to get girls, and how life seemed so much simpler before she'd ever laid eyes on a particular blond haired, blue eyed, funny, sweet, entirely gorgeous nineteen year old.

They'd planned on going out for drinks again that night, and Sophie was definitely up for moving on and being the single, carefree Sophie Webster she was just a week earlier.

''So Sophster, are you seeing anyone at the moment?''

Sophie thought about the question for a moment, and whilst she wished she could say yes more than anything, she remembered the argument her and Sian had and she shook her head. ''No, just playing the field, you know me.'' she answered simply with a small smile, hoping to end the conversation there. Josh glanced over the Brunette's shoulder, not able to help the small smirk that tugged at the corner of his mouth.

''By the looks of it, there's someone that would be pretty annoyed to hear you say that?''

Turning in the direction Josh was facing, Sophie saw an annoyed Blonde glaring at them and she was sure that the deep blue eyes would have scorched right through them if they could.

''I doubt it.'' she said turning back to the fair haired lad.

''So there's nothing there then?'' Josh asked raising his eyebrows.

''Not on her part.'' Sophie stated, trying to hide the hurt in her voice. ''Anyway, we're out for you tonight, so no more talking about me.''

''Okay, okay.'' Josh relented. ''But just let me say one thing…'' Letting out a sigh, Sophie waited for him continue. ''Something tells me there's more there than she'd want anyone to know. Either that or she definitely fancies me.'' The young lad received a swift slap to the top of his arm, making him lean away slightly with a laugh. ''Come on Webster, let me buy you a drink.'' He threw his arm around the Brunette's shoulder as they walked in the direction of the bar, with darkened blue eyes watching them.

As the night went on, Sophie tried to ignore the fact that Sian was in the club. If it had of been last week and the Blonde was watching her that way, she would have loved it, and taken the opportunity to drag her into the bathroom and have some fun. But it wasn't, it was a week after she'd been told by the Blonde that what had happened between them had been a mistake and she didn't feel that way about her. She knew that she needed to just move on from it and be happy with someone that could actually admit how they felt and who wasn't too afraid of what everyone else would think about them.

Sian on the other hand, was stood near the bar, watching a petit Blonde grinding against the girl she'd been unable to tear her eyes away from all evening. She could feel the frustration and annoyance building up inside her, as well as the anger. But as much as she wanted to be angry with Sophie, she was even more angry with herself, she knew that it was all her fault. The Brunette had wanted to be with her last week, now however, she was allowing a Blonde bimbo to rub all over her and by the looks of it, she wasn't giving Sian a second thought.

Sian felt a massive lump rise in her throat as she watched the small Blonde wrap her arms around Sophie's neck and pull her towards her, before she pressed their lips together. She wanted to walk over and drag the girl of Sophie and tell her the Brunette was hers, but she knew she had no right, that she'd made sure of that herself already. Instead she stood frozen to the spot as Sophie kissed someone else, and she wished at that moment that  
the ground would just swallow her up.

A few moments later, Sophie pulled out of the kiss and whispered something in the other girl's ear before making her way of the dance floor alone, in the direction of the bathroom. Taking her opportunity to finally get the Brunette alone, Sian quickly finished her drink before she followed in the same direction Sophie had gone.


End file.
